It all began one very hot and sunny day in a place called Singapore. That's in Malaya, you know, and it is full of Chinese and dockyard maties. We arrived in the early hours of the morning having flown for many thousands of miles in a large flying machine called 'Hermes' (ours was an export reject because it didn't have a bar). On arrival in HMS Terror we were given a slap up supper breakfast after which it was time to get up, which wasn't very difficult really because we hadn't turned in!

We eventually found HMS St Brides Bay nestled comfortably against the dockyard wall with her upperdeck crowded with brown skinned foreign looking chaps all too willing to carry our bags on board. It transpired later that these were the men of the last commission who were most anxious to get home in order to start Gunnery and TAS courses.

Having settled down on our new ship and found our way around it was decided to try an experiment and take the ship to sea. This was in no way surprising, because somehow the buzz had been circulating on the messdecks that such an attempt might be made. Before we got away, however, a wicked wire wrapped itself around the port shaft which had to be removed by two men in overalls and respirators. The theory that the wire had been there since the last commission was rejected because it was found that there was a catamaran on the end of it.

So the work-up began. The guns were overhauled by the OAs and pointed in various directions in a most workmanlike manner. Having found all to our liking and the hole in which to put the projectile, we carried out quarters firing at smoke floats. The shooting was so accurate that the smoke floats lost heart and went out.

Hong Kong was the next port on the list and from there we enjoyed many happy and carefree days shooting on the beautiful beaches and in the night clubs, and entertaining lady friends on battle practice and drogue targets. The results were gratifying and we felt that we were getting somewhere at last.

The cruise to Japan although not fruitful as far as gunnery practice facilities were concerned, did give us the opportunity to fire a twenty-one gun salute. With the entire ship's company (standfast special parties) drawn up on the jetty and many Japanese spectators, the stage was set. The Gunner squatted on the bridge stop-watch in hand with sweat and neat gin pouring from his puckered brow. Suddenly the moment came, 'Fire One', he cried. With a mighty roar 'A' mounting exploded. Smoke and atomised cardboard whirled across the jetty. A hiss went up from the assembled Japanese spectators. It had happened! 'A' mounting had really fired! Ah! sweet success. But wait . . . we have yet to fire another twenty. Will 'X' mounting fire at the right time? Will the loading number fumble and drop his brick? Well . . . if you really want to know, read next year's thrilling installment. I really must move on to the next incident in this account of the gunnery activities of this commission.

Refit in Hong Kong. It was very hot and very dusty. We saw our smart ship reduced to a skeleton of its former self. All the guns were lifted out of the ship and placed on the jetty. The RNAD technicians invaded us, stripped the guns and put 'em back together again. They must have lost a lot of bits, because after refit we had two less Bofors (40/60s to the purists) than we had before. They also rewired the range-finder receiver in the TS. Whilst all this was being done for us most of us had a welcome break from routine by residing on Stonecutters Island for a while to carry out the Annual Musketry Course. No one managed to qualify as a marksman but this was the fault of the rifles which all had bent barrels.

Following Operation Albatross, during which we carried out many successful rapid open fire exercises and completed our post refit gunnery work up we hastened to Singapore to restore and reammunition to full war outfit. Then turning our bows Westward we sailed for destination unknown. At least the authorities thought we didn't know, but somehow the buzz did spread that we were sailing for the Arctic/Antarctic/Scapa Flow or somewhere between. However, shortly after passing Ceylon for the second time it was observed that we were being followed by a small and peculiar looking vessel. This was very suspicious. Nothing could shake it off our track. So we led it all the way to Aden just for the laugh.

The day arrived at last when it was our turn to sail Northward toward Suez and take our turn at patrolling in the Gulf. We had prepared well for this task. Action, Defence, and Cruising stations had been exercised many times and we were convinced that the armament and the crews could cater for any emergency. We were well and truly ready. The Admiralty had thoughtfully sent a cruiser, an RFA and other small ships into the area for us to play with in case we got bored in the long days ahead. First of all we followed the cruiser. Then she followed us. Then the RFA had a go. Some wit on the RFA stowed our mail in their fridge for a week. After that we decided not to play with her any more. Well would you if your love letters arrived covered with icicles? Fortunately, we managed to carry out some valuable gunnery exercises with the cruiser, firing HEDA. Many rapid open fire exercises too. What might have been our greatest moment came when we were buzzed by Mystère jets belonging to you know whom. Of course we didn't open-fire as it is good manners to wait for your opponent to do so first.

The Suez Crisis passed and we trekked back to the Far East Station, our rightful home. After a short self refit in Singapore, which included a welcome rest in HMS Terror we were privileged to go to New Zealand to assist in the training of their Reserve Navy.

Now New Zealand is a small island not far from Australia. If you go too fast you will probably miss it altogether. The first thing to do when you arrive in New Zealand is learn the language. The best way to achieve this is to Duck Under, Shoot Through, and Jack Yourself Up. Now, you can consider yourself organised. You will probably be surprised at the NZ licensing laws and it will strike you peculiar that the pubs all close at six o'clock. This is to enable father to go home early taking beer with him so that the kids can have a drink before bedtime.

Perhaps you will wonder when this article will settle down to giving some real facts about Gunnery. Well, if you have been waiting, you will just have to go on waiting I'm afraid. Everyone is familiar with what gives when we go out to do a shoot, and the results are there for all to see, except of course the UC rates who hastily don their ear muffs and huddle together in a small compartment just above the bilge. Their delicate organs (ears) are designed only for listening to Pings and not Bangs. So why bore the reader with a mass of statistics, which even the author admits he does not understand? However, we have fired 1,560 four inch projectiles, 2 500 forty millimetre rounds, and 40,163 rounds of small arms this commission . . . and many other bits and pieces. If you have enhanced your knowledge by this expenditure then it is surely justified. But should you have not done so then I wish you had spoken sooner because then we could have given you a shift to the TAS party.

Gunnery Notes
by 'Kannonball'